Cruel and Unusual Gardening or How to Threaten Your Plants into Flourishing

Nicola Slade is a fab writer of histories and mysteries, and has a wonderful website and blog. You must take a look.

Nicola Slade's Winchester Mysteries

The first Terry Pratchett novel I read was ‘Good Omens’ – the book about the Apocalypse, which he wrote with Neil Gaiman. I was very taken with the way the demon Crowley kept his indoor plants healthy and flourishing. He threatened them!good omens

Any plant that failed to thrive would be shown to all the others as an awful warning and taken out of the house. An hour or so later Crowley would return with an empty flower pot that would be left prominently on show.  As the book says, ‘The plants were the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London. And the most terrified.’

Not having demonic powers I can’t claim that my house plants are fabulous but they do live under threat. When they’re planted, fed or watered – or more often when the dead leaves are picked off – I have a mantra that I use…

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Categories: Blog

5 Comments »

  1. I had a plant in my previous home which refused to flower, so I threatened it that if it didn’t flower the following year, I would cut it down. The next year it was full of gorgeous blossoms. Who says they don’t understand !

    Liked by 1 person

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