The Auditions: Part Two – Let’s Play Rock ‘n’ Roll by Zeppelin

Somewhere in Hollywood, in a huge warehouse with an enormous car park:

Red Corvette rear end

The Auditions Part Two: Let’s Play Rock ‘n’ Roll by Zeppelin

(c) Jane Risdon 2015

The red corvette revved up and down the parking lot outside the warehouse in LA where the auditions were taking place.

Everyone watched in fascination as the driver sped up and down for a good fifteen minutes before parking close by and getting out to greet them.

It was the superstar singer himself.

‘Like my new auto?’

They liked. Very much.

 ‘Just picked it up from the showroom this morning.’

Everyone sat outside the rehearsal area feeding the bass player pain killers for his broken nose and black eyes.

He’d refused medical assistance…’I’m Irish, I can take it.’ He told his management for the umpteenth time, 

Everyone thought he looked like a cool British dude with his shades, ripped jeans, and tee shirt with the arm-holes cut to his waist.  Popping pills just enhanced his image so he told them. Right.

The drummer sat tapping his sticks, looking every inch the rock star in his long leather coat, cowboy boots and big shades.

Everyone hoped the superstar wouldn’t want to see the bass player without his shades until after he’d auditioned.

He looked as if he’d gone several rounds with Mohamed Ali.  

He had removed the wadding up his nose and put tons of Max Factor foundation over the bruised area.  The swelling had subsided a little thanks to a constant supply of ice-cubes applied to his mis-shapen conk.

Fingers crossed he wouldn’t need to sing backing vocals.

The star’s manager called the guys into the audition.

The drummer tripped over his new Spanish leather Cowboy boots and almost fell face down at the feet of the famous lead guitarist he was hoping to join on tour. He sat at the drum kit and waited whilst everyone got organised, flicking his newly styled hair and checking his image in the full length mirrors lining the walls.

The bass player picked up his instrument and lit a cigarette – he wasn’t nervous at all; the super-star would be lucky to have him join the band.

The super-star took up position in front of the microphone.

‘Let’s run through some of my biggest hits.’ 

The lead guitarist began with an instantly recognisable riff. The drummer joined in and the singer waited for his cue….and they all waited for the bass to start.

He didn’t join in.

The super star shrugged and sucked his perfectly even and expensive white teeth.

‘OK let’s try Rock and Roll by Zeppelin just to warm you guys up.’ 

The super star suggested, thinking the guy was nervous.

‘I don’t do anyone else’s stuff.’  The bass player muttered, blowing smoke into the air nonchalantly.

‘Yeah, but everyone knows Zeppelin.’ The superstar singer looked taken back.

‘Well, I don’t.’

The bass player’s management shut their eyes. What the hell?  He knew Zeppelin, of course he did.

 ‘I’ve got a fab song we can play, I’ll get it.’

The super star’s mouth dropped open, not a filling in sight. His eyes popped.

The bass player searched his pockets. His management gaped in horror.

Had the idiot any idea how much trouble they’d gone through to set up this gig? First the guitarist turned the opportunity down, now this egotist was pushing his luck.

Hundreds globally had applied for the gig and only this management’s three musicians had been chosen along with about six other seriously talented musicians.

The studio fell silent and the lead guitarist took his shades off to stare at this Irish guy who had the nerve to suggest the super group played one of his songs.

The super-star glanced over at the stage set featuring a guillotine and grinned an evil grin.


Read on – Part Three – and other antics.

Photos Public Domain

Let me know what you think of this saga and thanks for reading.